


She Ran Away In Her Sleep And Dreamed Of Paradise

by ConfusedStateOfMind



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Good Brother Luther Hargreeves, Good Brother Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Mom Vanya, No incest cause that shit is nasty, Past Rape/Non-con, Sibling Bonding, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya and her daughter are adorable, Vanyas got a salty attitude, mentioned rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-12-01 23:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedStateOfMind/pseuds/ConfusedStateOfMind
Summary: She wasn’t too surprised when she found out she was pregnant, sobbing heavily on the bathroom floor but barely dumbfounded.She went into labour nine months later, not even bothering to tell her siblings about their new niece.———-After a horrible accident, Vanya gives birth to her daughter, who quickly becomes the light of her life.Story Title: Paradise by Coldplay





	1. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Title: Let it be by The Beatles

It was dark,  _ extremely dark,  _ Vanya could remember. She dragged herself home with a minor lip,  _ one she wouldn't go to the hospital to get checked out later which she regretted _ , staggered into her apartment, broke down in the shower. She remembered it all so well, the vividness of the memories played so frequently in her brain it burned. 

  
  


She didn’t tell anyone, not the police, never her ‘family’. 

  
  
  


She wasn’t too surprised when she found out she was pregnant, sobbing heavily on the bathroom floor but barely dumbfounded. 

  
  


She went into labour nine months later, not even bothering to tell her siblings about their new niece. 

  
  


She chose the name Natasha, a) because of Vanya's russian origin, she wanted her child to have a name that represented some aspect of where she came from and b), Vanya may or may not have watched every single Marvel movie and had grown a fan of Natasha Romanoff for many reasons. 

Now, she was alone, but not completely. Alone in a sense that she would have to raise her child by herself, but not  _ alone _ alone, she had her newly born daughter. 

**———————**

**Nine months later. **

  
  
  
  


Everything was blank. A whitish brilliance, no colour nor figure was visible, the light grew blinding and she swore she could see the familiar face of—

_ BEEP BEEP BEEP _

Vanya threw herself upright in her bed, heart racing and breathing heavily. Looking over at the nightstand, disgust filled her as she read the time, 7:00 am. Considerably late, but Vanya still preferred to sleep in until at least 8, a luxury she couldn’t afford. 

She reached out and slammed her fist against her alarm clock a few times before the blaring stopped. Drowsily, Vanya threw the covers off her body and stood on wobbly feet, she made her way over to her wardrobe. Dressing herself in fabric shorts and an oversized sweater, she slowly made her way down her apartments hall towards the other bedroom at the end of the hall. Cracking the door open slightly, she peered inside before opening it fully and walked in. “Nat, baby it’s time to get up.” Vanya mumbles as she walked over to the crib where her daughter was sleeping. Carefully reaching in, she picked up her infant daughter and bounced up and down softly. “Shh shh, it’s ok,  _ yeah _ .” She hummed the song “Let it be” in a hushed tone, carrying her baby to the changing table. 

She was exhausted, but not as much as she was a few months prior. Natasha was a fairly quiet and merciful sleeper, only waking her up at least once every three nights, much to Vanya's relief. 

After making her coffee and feeding Nat, Vanya dressed her in warm clothing suitable for an infant in spring weather and left her apartment. She could only afford one cheap stroller, so she usually carried her daughter. Vanya only used the stroller for important situations like a long outing or rare vacations, if it broke she would not be able to replace it. Sure, it wasn’t ideal, and yes, she knew that she was a victim of facebook gossip by local bavardaging, overprotective mothers, but she had no alternative and frankly, those women could go fuck themselves and mind their own damn business. 

So, Vanya carried her daughter in her arms and left to drop Natasha off at a babysitter on her way to work. Her maternity leave was cut short due to her constant need to pay bills and, well,  _ keep them both alive under minimum wage _ , so she was forced to go back to work after only receiving 4 weeks of leave instead of the usual 12.

  
  
  
  


It had been almost 19 months since the attack, Vanya still had nightmares and flashes, none thankfully while in public or at work, none of them affecting Natasha too. But it affected Vanya. She was constantly tired due to restless, tiringly long nights spent staring at the ceiling. Thoughts, often pessimistic, plagued her mind, most about the attack, but also some about her family,  _ if she could even call them that.  _ It’s been four years since she wrote that wretched book, regret and guilt constantly screamed at her. That stupid mistake destroyed what little of familial relationships she had. Additionally, she also felt guilty that her daughter would grow up unaware of any uncles or aunts, not knowing her grandmother or grandfather, not having a father or second mother of her own. But Vanya prayed, a last resort she had only done a few times during her miserable life, and wished for a happy life that she could give to her daughter. 

_ So far, nothing _ . 

Vanya worked two jobs, at a dinner and at a music store, the pay was barely enough to feed one person alone. She rarely had time for her own musical practices, she was forced to quit playing the violin at the theatre during her sixth month of pregnancy. If it weren’t for Natasha, Vanya would have finally peaked and tumbled into a spiral of depression months ago, her life would be a living hell if it weren’t for her infant daughter, she was truly the light of her life. 

  
  


-

She could see the starres, and she was tired of it. Vanya was a grown woman of small stature, people often mistook her for a teenage mother went she went out with Natasha, she had grown used to the disapproving stares, yet another part of her wants to shout “_So what if I was a teenage_ _mother? I love my baby, fuck you!” _but she didn’t, with what little standards she had, she felt that yelling at random middle aged married women would be crossing line. Besides, looking as shitty as she did now with her oversized shirt and sweatpants and her dark hair in a messy bun, accompanied by giant bags under her eyes, her current physical appearance didn’t give her the courage to be a bitch in the local walmart. 

——-

When she heard the news that her father had died, she was walking down the street with Natasha in her arms, the baby looked around curiously at the bright building lights and passing cars as Vanya came to a full halt in front of a video store. Her eyes were wide, an old woman approached her to admire and fawn over her daughter, but Vanya didn’t notice her, her eyes were glued to the screen. She couldn’t move. 

“ _ Mama?”  _ Natasha chirped, pressing her tiny fist against Vanya's cheek. Vanya moved her so that one arm was resting under her daughter and the other was supporting her back as Vanya held her in front of her. 

“Hey baby. It’s ok.” Vanya voiced calmingly. “Did I ever tell you about your grandpa?” Of course, Natasha didn’t answer, at the age of nine months her vocabulary was not advanced and was limited to “ _ mama _ ” and “ _ bottle _ ”, with an occasional “ _ toy _ ”.

Vanya finally gained feeling in her legs and continued the walk back to her apartment, her mind had only one thought. 

_ The old fucker finally did it. He finally kick the bucket.  _

It was weirdly hilarious to her, like a sick twist of date with a comical flair. She celebrated with a disney movie night with her daughter, she played Nat's favourite  _ Lilo and Stitch _ , before the two passed out on her couch out of exhaustion, Vanya laying on her back with Natasha resting on her chest. 

**——————-**

  
  


She considered not going to the funeral, but she knew she would die from guilt, plus her siblings would probably use her intentional absence against her in some way. So, begrudgingly she packed a bag, brought out the ‘special occasion stroller’ and cursed to herself as she locked the door behind her. 

As she neared the end of the hall towards the elevator, she contemplated,  _ “it’s not too late”  _ and  _ “screw them, I can stay home and eat ice cream or whatever, those fuckers can get off my ass”  _ but yet again, she continued her way out of the building. She was a pain in her own ass sometimes.

  
  


———

Stepping out of the taxi and walking up to the front door of her old childhood home made her feel like she was going on a roller coaster for the first time, scared, possibly ready to throw up, and not at all knowing what to expect. Vanya struggled to bring the stroller up the first step, after a few embarrassing failed attempts, she removed Natasha from the stroller and folded it up, carrying Nat with one arm and the day bag in the other, the stroller tucked under her armpit. 

She got to the top of the stairs, feeling sad for herself after such an embarrassing fail. She looked down at her daughter. “Well there’s no turning back now, shall we?”

Natasha just stared up at her with curiosity in her big brown eyes, thumb in her mouth, Vanya giggled and place a kiss on her nose. 

Slowly, she creaked open and went through the glass doors with an umbrella carved into it, disgust filling her as she saw the world famous umbrella academy symbol. She closed the door behind her and looked around. The exuberant glass chandelier was hanging from the ceiling, and a vase stood on the table in the middle of the room,  _ just like when she left.  _

Natasha stayed tucked into her mother’s arm, her head moving away from Vanya's chest and looked around. She seemed to be amused by her knew surroundings. Her mother on the other hand, was anything but. Vanya had so many flashbacks to her childhood while standing in front of the door, it made her wonder how memories of 17 years of her life spent inside of the same walls could come flooding back within only 10 seconds. 

Vanya walked through into the next room. She took in the details of the lavishly decorated room, the grand woodworkings, carvings and trinkets made her apartment look like a literal dump when in comparison. She set the bag and folded stroller by the fireplace, memories of curling up by the fire with Five and Ben, reading books and telling stories came to her, making Vanya smile. Vanya turned away from the fireplace and Natasha became fussy. 

“Hey Baby, shh it’s ok, mommas here.” Vanya said. She slowly bobbed her daughter up and down and walked back into the foreroom. 

“Vanya?” the voice asked. “You’re actually here.”  _ Shit, it was Allison. _

“Hey Allison.” Vanya mumbled, attempting to hide Natasha from her gaze, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Is that a…?” She stopped just in front of her sister, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Vanya shifted from one foot to the other. “Yeah, uh, this is my daughter.”

Allison’s eyebrows shot up, her red painted lips formed an ‘o’ shape,  _ close your mouth, you could catch flies  _ Vanya thought. 

“Since when….” Allison was cut off by her brothers entrance. 

“What is she doing here? You don’t belong here, not after what you did.”

He remarked but froze as he got to the bottom of the stairs, was Vanya holding a kid? 

Allison turned around and put her hands in her pockets “Are you seriously gonna do this, today of all days?”

Diego stopped, completely ignoring Allison and turned to Vanya. “So what, you got knocked up and didn’t bother to tell us?”

Vanya froze, moving her arms so Natasha was facing away from Diego. She took a step back. 

“Huh.” He grumbled smugly as he turned back around and walked up the stairs.

“Don’t be such a dick! Way to dress for the occasion, by the way!” Allison shouted after him.

“At least I’m wearing black.” He snarkily replied.

“You know what. I-uh, maybe he’s right. We shouldn’t have come.” Vanya mumbled, slowly trying to shuffle to get her things from the other room. 

Allison waved her hand, seeming to notice Vanyas frazzled appearance. “Forget about him, I’m glad you’re here.”

Vanya smiled halfheartedly and shifted to another foot again. She awkwardly informed her sister that she was going to go to her old bedroom, and left Allison standing alone by the front door.


	2. Slow Down, You Crazy Child (You're So Ambitious For A Juvenile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Vienna by Billy Joel

Walking down the hallway towards her childhood room was horrible. Vanya felt like she was in a nightmare, walking down the same hallways she was stuck in for years. She ambled around the corridor, twisting and turning around the house as if she were wandering a maze, something in her head was subconsciously leading her through the mansion and her feet seemed to drag her along. Slowly she came to a halt in front of her brothers old room.  _ Five. _

Hesitantly, she looked down each end of the hallway before stepping inside, Natasha cooing in her arms. “This is your uncle Fives old room, Natty.” She mumbled as she approached one of the walls, which held various scribbles of mathematical equations scattered all across the walls, dim and faded, books of physics and science sat on the shelves coated in dust after years of neglect. “He was such a brainiac..” she muttered to herself with a small chuckle. 

After a good ten minutes of looking and taking in Fives old room, Vanya slowly made her way out and into the hall. With a sigh, she then decides to just go to her old pathetic looking bedroom, and just stay there with Natasha until the funeral starts. While walking down to her room, she heard someone mumbling to themselves along with a rummaging sound coming from her father's old office. Approaching the room slowly, holding Natasha closely to her, a man burst from the room in a big dramatic outburst, taking Vanya back. 

“Klaus?!” Vanya yelped, her heart seemed to skip a beat. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Klaus practically lit up as he looked down at his small sister, wrapping her up in a big hug. "Ah, sorry I frightened you! Long time no see, Ven! How’s my little sis been!?" He exclaimed while stepping back a little bit in order to get a good look at her appearance. The sound of a baby cooing brought his eyes to Natasha. Immediately Vanya became nervous as her brother and daughter started to engage in a silent staring contest. She got a good look at her brother, and Vanya realised she had never seen him look so bad before.  _ Drugs  _ she thought, and it hurt as she came to the conclusion. 

"Well, it seems that someone has gotten pretty busy," Klaus says next with a chuckle as he bent down to level with baby Nat, poking her gently on the nose prompting a giggle from the infant. “Can I hold her?” Klaus asked, snapping Vanya out of her thoughts. Flustered, she nodded yes and handed Natasha over to him. “Hey princess!” He grinned as he held her up to admire her. 

Watching Klaus try to make Natasha laugh by making funny faces at her daughter made Vanya's chest feel funny. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just new and rather  _ joyful _ , and it only grew when he started tickling her, making Nat squeal happily in response, Vanya couldn’t help but smile. 

"So who's this little princess’ daddy?" Klaus asks her after finishing the tickling. Vanya's smile shrank and when she didn't answer, his eyes start to narrow in concern and his relaxed posture tenses up ever so slightly. "Vanya?" He tries again, the smile that was on his face completely gone now. She couldn’t tell him what had happened,  _ of course she couldn’t.  _ You don’t just drop something like that at your fathers funeral, besides once the words out she’d only be blamed for not speaking sooner. 

“I uh, don’t like to talk about him..” she finally managed to mutter, keeping her eyes low as she released the breath she didn’t know she was holding in. 

“Oh, ok, i’m sorry, I didn’t-“

She cut him off. “It’s fine, you didn’t know.” She took Natasha into her arms again, her baby squeaking happily at her mother. 

“Well, see you outside.” Klaus waved glumly, Vanya felt guilty. “Klaus, I-“

She was cut off by Luthers's sudden appearance, both Vanya and Klaud let out sounds of surprise. Luther blinks at them both with confusion clear as day on his face. He quickly shakes it off however, and then all but orders them downstairs. Since they're supposedly ready to start talking about Dad's funeral now. Klaus ignored this and instead started up at their ridiculously tall brother. 

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?” Vanya smacked him at the back of the head again. “ _ Don’t be rude.” _

Luther only looked at Klaus for a moment before his eyes went to Vanya and Nat, seeming to notice the child for the first time. But he didn’t ask questions, making Vanya feel rather relieved, but she could see the clear look of confusion on her brothers face. Luther motioned them to follow, Vanya dragged Klaus as they made their way down the hall. 

  
  


Once they make it into the parlor room, Luther plants himself firmly onto a leather chair, Vanya and Klaus sat down in the couch across from him. Natasha grew fussy. Luther and Klaus quietly watched her in utter fascination as she got up and removed Natashas supplies from the bag by the fireplace and sat back down, then proceeded to carefully places the child on the ground. Nat clumsily attempted to stand using the table for balance, but she couldn’t seem to get onto her feet. Luther looked up at his sister who thoughtfully watched her daughter as she flopped onto her backside and tried to stand again. 

The sound of high heels clicking down the hall approached, a woman with golden curls and a 50s style dress made her way into the room, her big warm smile lined by red lipstick. “Hello my darlings! It’s so wonderful to have you back!” She gushed at the three of them.

“Mom?” 

“Hello mother!” Klaus exclaimed, Grace chuckled in response. Luther offered her a small smile and wave, which she returned gratefully. Looking down at the floor, their mother gasped and leaned forwards resting her hands on her knees. “And who’s this little baby?” Her voice just as soft and kind as Vanya remembered. 

“This is Natasha, your granddaughter.”

Another gasp, Grace looked at the baby, Vanya swore she could see stars in her mother’s eyes. “Why Vanya darling! She’s simply beautiful!”

“That’s what I was saying!” Klaus exclaimed. 

“Wanna hold her, mom?”

“Oh, I would love to! As you know, it’s been years since I've had the privilege of caring for a baby, I simply adore it! You all were such adorable infants.”

“Yeah, what happened?” Klaus remarked, earning a weak slap at the back of his head from Vanya and a shake of the head from luther. 

She handed Natasha over to her mother, who was in awe of her granddaughter. 

  
  


This day couldn’t get any worse, could it?  _ No _ , she decided.  _ No it couldn’t.  _ But lo and behold another time Vanya was proven wrong. 

  
  


The funeral was demeaning to say the least. It was pouring, the five of them stood around a now mushy pile of their father's ashes. Not wanting Natasha our in such weather, Vanya put her down for a nap in her old bedroom for the time being, their mother offering kindly to watch over her granddaughter while the five of them “grieved”. But from the looks on her siblings faces, they were doing anything but. Diego looked bored, Allison kept tapping her foot as thought wanting to go back inside and escape the rain. Klaus appeared to be trying to contain his laughter, with little avail. Even Luther, the only sibling dad had some semblance of respect for, didn’t look like he was in a faze of mourning. 

  
  


When a strange flash of light filled the sky in front of them, Vanya didn’t know if she should feel relieved for this diversion or frightened. 

Then, right in front of their eyes, their long lost brother dropped out of the lights in the sky.  _ Five _ . 

“Does anyone else see small Five, or is it just me?” Klaus asked cautiously beside her. 

“No, I see him too.” Vanya whispered mostly to herself. She wasn’t sure whether their brother was actually standing there or if she was just imagining it, but Klaus’ comment brought her out of her own mind and confirmed her conceptualization. Five was here,  _ he was actually standing right in front of them.  _

Her brother, her best friend was home, and looked as though he hadn’t changed from the last time she saw him. 

  
  


In front of them, Five looked down at himself and lifted his head upwards again, with an expression of discontent. “ _ Shit _ .”

  
  
  


This was going to be a  _ long _ day. 

  
  
  
  


The words coming out of her brothers mouth were, perplexing to say the least. He looked 13, but in reality he was 50?  _ No, his subconscious was 50, right. Why is it so hard to wrap my mind around this? _

Five waved around a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich as he raved to them, the small detail brought her close to tears.  _ Their childhood sandwich.  _

  
  
  


It startled her when mom entered the room, breaking the tension between their (younger?) brother and Diego. Five did not like the interruption, he looked displeased as their mother walked up to their sister in her seat at the table. 

“Vanya darling, it appears Natasha has grown rather fussy and I can’t seem to calm her. Would you mind soothing her? I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you all.” She stood up straight and apologized to the others, clapping her hands together in a sweet manner. Excusing herself quietly, Vanya stood up from the kitchen chair and followed their mother out of the room. Fives eyes lingered on the doorframe which his mother and sister had just exited out of before returning his gaze to the rest of his siblings. “Who’s Natasha?”

  
  
  
  
  


Vanya was glad that Natasha was a relatively quiet baby. The only reason she ever got fussy was when she was either hungry, had a full diaper, or simply missed her mom. Whenever her daughter burst into her rare crying fits, it always seemed that the only one to stop the tears was Vanya. Simply singing a song or lullaby and rocking her in her arms did the trick. Even at her young age, Nat had already developed a taste in music, the infant had grown fond with certain songs like ‘Somewhere only we know’ or ‘Hey Jude’ by The Beatles. 

She was currently bouncing Natasha softly in her arms while lightly singing Billy Joel’s ‘Vienna’ in a soothing voice, Natasha playful cooing in her arms. She didn’t hear Five approaching from down the hall, she didn’t notice him standing in the doorway until Natasha started to peek over her shoulder. Vanya turned around to see her brother standing there, watching her with a softer look in his eyes than the look that was shown downstairs. 

“Oh, I-i’m sorry, i didn’t hear you..” She mumbled flusteredly. 

“So you have a daughter, huh? What’s her name?” 

Vanya let out a small chuckle, causing Five to furrow his eyebrows. She couldn’t help it, being blunt and cutting right to the chase was always Fives thing, even when they were kids. “Natasha. Her name is Natasha.”

“That’s Russian.” He mused in a matter of fact sort of way, walking slowly over to her beside the bed, looking deep in thought as he gazed at the two.

“Mmhmm.” She hummed, feeling rather anxious, the awkwardness in the air didn’t help her nerves. 

“How old?” 

“9 months.” He kept bouncing questions off her, she wondered if he’d go on forever, feeling slightly amused at the thought. “Do you want to hold her?”

A pause, a slight foot change and eyebrow raise made by Five, a part of Vanya regrets asking. But he answered. “Sure.”  _ Very sentimental.  _

After adjusting Natasha, she placed her daughter slowly in her uncle's arms, Fives eyes growing wide as he tilts his head down and gets a good look at her for the first time. 

“She...looks just like you.” Were the first words to come out of his mouth, and Five cursed himself for the vulnerability in his voice but couldn’t help himself. His niece, Natasha, her eyes were just as big, just as brown as her mother’s. Just like Five remembered.  _ Holy shit, how he missed his little sister. _

The weird feeling in her stomach came back, just like when Vanya witnessed Klaus playing with her daughter. She did her best to force the tears away, no matter how tempting it was to give in to it. Natasha seemed to be just the right size in order to fit within Fives 13 year old sized arms, it was an incredibly sweet moment that passed between the two. 

After another minute or two, Five cleared his throat in order to hold back any unwanted emotions and looked up at Vanya. “So, does she have a father?”

Vanya noticeably froze, leaving Five afraid that he asked the wrong question. But she brushed it off, making him rather skeptical. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Vanya,” He sighed. 

“No it’s ok, I don’t like talking about _ him _ .” She noticed the tone in her own voice, but it was too late now. Her defensiveness was out and only sparked more questions in her cleverly observant brother. He looked up at her with a frightening sincerity in his eyes, she gulped as he no longer had interest in Natasha, but instead focused on his sister in a profound manner. His voice had changed from a soft, calming murmur into something serious with a trace of fear. “What happened?”

  
  



End file.
